It's May and the school year ends on June 28th.
tbh: I've teared up/cried multiple times these past couple of weeks for many different reasons.
tbh: I don't do well with sadness or any other emotion other than anger. (But I'm trying to work on that because I don't want to pass this down to the youth.)
tbh: I don't like airports because they mean that I'm saying goodbye.
tbh: I'm in denial that I have to say goodbye in July, but maybe I'll get the chance to spend August here on Kinmen as a summer intern to assist the new Fulbright incoming ETAs. We had to submit an application (one page essay), and here is a redacted version:
With this school year coming to an end, all I can think about is the incoming ETAs. I wonder what kind of personalities they will have, what they can offer Kinmen, and most importantly, what they will learn from Kinmen. My time here has been full of learning, loving and lucky moments.
Through lesson plan meetings and informal gatherings with my LETs, I have noticed that cultural differences do not usually manifest amid flowers and laughter but with confusion, impatience or frustration. There are clear differences between Western and Eastern communication styles that I can now adapt to, but I do not claim to be an expert in either. Embracing cultural differences has been a constant learning curve for me; I hope that ETAs do not let frustration get the best of them, but rather lean into the discomfort, learn from it and integrate the underlying cultural values into their daily lives.
I hope to exude how transformative my Kinmen experience was for me. I want the future ETAs to fall in love with life over and over again, which is something I have never felt before coming here. However, life in Kinmen is not all beautiful sunsets and beaches; it also has occasional beach spikes and gusts of very cold wind. I felt the effect of the 16 hour time difference separating me from my family, bleak and cloudy winter days, and awkward tension with other ETAs. Sadly, Kinmen is the cause among these moments of loneliness. So, I want the new ETAs to understand that they will have valid pessimistic feelings about Kinmen. But, I also want them to see that a reason among my moments of peace and happiness is, in fact, Kinmen. Without realizing it, I began finding comfort in talking with my students during break time, around the neighborhood, and especially when I found myself lacking energy. My students constantly remind me of how full life can be. There are true friendships, hurt feelings, losses, wins, laughter, moodiness, uncertainty and forgiveness. My students have become my teachers, and Kinmen has become a place where I have felt love. Because of Kinmen, I know that love exists. I hope the future ETAs discover that for themselves.
Along with all the learning and loving moments, I do have to admit that there were a lot of lucky moments as well. I won money in lotteries and raffles, was placed at a school that happens to fit me well, and made some amazing friendships. So, if anything, I would like to personally pass on all my luck to the future ETAs and the Kinmen coordinators for the upcoming year.
